


Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.

by Complete_Toffee



Category: Pacific Rim
Genre: Drift - Freeform, Gen, Kaiju, Memories, drift analysis, just drift drabble, prob not entirely accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Complete_Toffee/pseuds/Complete_Toffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My *own* analysis of Newt and Hermann's drift memories. Title is taken from MCR song, 'I'm not okay (i promise)'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.

**Author's Note:**

> I might have missed some, and these are my own observations and interpretations. Certain quoted parts are exact script from the movie, i wanted it to be longer so i might add some more stuff later.

“Going in in three…two…one….” He slammed the button, wondering for a split second if anything would happen when suddenly it felt like he was underwater and electrocuted at the same time. Newt could feel the PONs pulling a little too hard on his consciousness, tugging it in every direction and then sucking it down like jello. His own memories shot through first, fishing with his dad in Germany, actually catching a fish for once in his life and realizing he wanted to know how it all worked. Next was his lab at MIT, a crowd of doctors and professors surrounding him, noting everything he said and _actually listening to him_ , a few of them looked skeptical but hey, there were always a few of those asshats weren’t there? Suddenly it wasn’t him anymore, hell it wasn’t _human_ anymore. He could feel it, he wasn’t sure how but he could. He could feel the kaiju and their thoughts, their emotions ( _who knew they really had any?_ ), and their reason. He saw them become what they were, an insider’s view he thought he would’ve killed for. He wanted to go deeper into their minds…see more of them and then—

 

“Newton…Newton! **_Newton!_   What have you done?!?**”

* * *

 

It was hours later…or was it days? What day was it again? Was it Tuesday? He needed to pick up his prescript—

“THERE ARE TWO KAIJU SIGNATURES IN THE BREACH AND NOT THREE LIKE I PREDICTED!”

Oh come on Hermann….

* * *

 

 

“You ready for this?”

“Oh…yes, yes…”

“Initiating neural handshake in five! Four! Three! Two….One!”

Newt felt the same pull from before, slightly easier this time and more familiar. He felt some resistance, probably from Hermann, but other than that…it felt natural. Memories started spinning around him and at first he was confused, not recognizing the toy or the numbers in front of him. ‘ _These are Hermann’s…he said once he wanted to be a pilot, guess that explains the dorky helmet and technical plane…_ ’ He tried to watch closer, catch more personal glimpses of his friend’s life. Between the skinny kid playing with a plane was him, protesting in the hot summer…’ _Weird choice of memory…I guess that’s not impor-holy shit are they throwing things at him?!_ ’ He watched Hermann get laughed at in school, watched the other kids actually throw things at him and Hermann spreading his arms out, just accepting what was happening. It didn’t really surprise him that the next thing he saw was Hermann crying in a corner, coat tail draped on the floor and Hermann hugging his knees. And it was moving too fast but were those shadows surrounding him…? He pulled himself out of that thought, seeing himself working in his lab, alone of course, messing with something he couldn’t really remember. Newt shoved the memory away, taking a mental breath and making sure he didn’t chase the RABIT. Hermann seemed determined to though, Newt watching Hermann read something off a stick? A measuring tape? Who the hell knows…he’ll have to ask if they live through this. Newt saw himself a tattoo parlor, his first kaiju tattoo…of course this would be here, why wouldn’t it be? He tried desperately to focus on Hermann’s next fit of memories…looked kinda like doctor’s equipment? Maybe a scale…an MRI? He wasn’t sure and then—

Finally. The kaiju. He dove into the memories, trying to chase the RABIT for memories that weren’t his. He _needed_ to see this stuff, this wasn’t really entirely for the war, he just wanted to know. Newt thought he saw hands…they looked human though, so maybe it was just another one of his memories. And then pain exploded. He still felt their memories, but their emotions were full of fear, panic, and pain. Whatever was happening to that kaiju…it was suffering, and Newt thought he would start crying from how painful it was. Was that…? The breach? It was the ‘throat Hermann had talked about, the thing they were gonna dump a bomb down and…and it wouldn’t work. It would never work, because they weren’t kaiju, they didn’t have the password to get into this amazing, cold, and painful world. He started feeling sick…going up the throat was more dizzying than he wanted it to…and…was the breach gagging…?

Newt came back to himself, realizing it was actually him that was gagging and choking, cause like this massive headache wasn't enough to deal with…He tried to undo the strap but ended up just breaking it, tugging the helmet off and looking at Hermann.

 

“You okay?”


End file.
